''Let's go.''
'My name is Prem. I was introduced to you in the end.'
Hello, Mr. Aasim. - Hello!
'This is my family. The people you see on the screen right now..'
'The gentleman is my father.'
'And the lady is my mother.'
'My dad has a terrible habit of.. what was it again..'
'Yes, of forgetting things. Come, I will show you the proof.'
You are that. - That?
Welcome to the wedding. - Yes. Come inside and keep that.
The gift? - That. No, no, no, that. That.
Please have a seat. - Please have a seat. - Thank you.
Welcome. Welcome. - Hello. - Hello.
Wow!
The steamed potatoes have no steam in them.
And there is no saffron in the saffron sweetmeat.
Really?
What really? I was just tasting them.
Look, what happened with all the tasting that you've done.
'That's Prem's uncle, Laxman Kapoor.'
'And his wife, Kiran.'
''I love you. I love you. I love you.''
What is it? You are dancing with joy.
Why? - You didn't dance so much at our wedding.
I'm celebrating someone else's joy.
That was a suicide. - Suicide?
My joy. Does anyone dancing when he is happy?
Not suicide.
'That's Prem's uncle, Bharat Kapoor.'
'And his wife, Suman.'
Look, brothers, if there is that at that then that will happen.
What that and that will happen?
If there is lack of anything at the wedding..
..then we will get defamed. - Okay. Okay.
Don't worry, brother.. - Everything will be fine. - Sure?
'These three brothers love each other a lot, like Ram, Laxman and Bharat.'
'And co-incidentally their names are..'
'..Ram, Laxman, Bharat.'
By the way, where is my that? That?
Liquor bottle? - No, brother. Not during the day.
It will ruin the wedding. - No, it is taller than a bottle.
That.. That.. - The bride.
She is inside. - Not the bride. That.. That..
A child. - How can there be a child when he is not married?
My child. My child. - His child. Prem. Prem. Say that.
Where is that idiot? - No, brother. Don't call him an idiot.
This wedding is taking place because of him. - Yes.
Khushi would have never agreed..
..if he wouldn't have reasoned it out with her. - Right.
'Khaman Dhokla'. - 'Khaman Dhokla'.. - Brother..
Gaurav had gone inside to meet Khushi for two minutes.
Half an hour has passed by. Go and check what's happening.
The auspicious hour is passing by. - Really?
'It is their friend and neighbour Mr. Pathak's daughter's wedding..'
'..whose name co-incidentally is Khushi.'
Khushi. Khushi, my child.
Where are you?
Son-in-law. Son-in-law.. what happened?
Who did all this? Where is Khushi?
She ran away. - She ran away?
She ran away with her lover. - Lover? Who is her lover?
Your neighbour, the Kapoors..
Their pampered, spoilt, rascal, scoundrel son. Prem.
''Girls are the most intoxicating thing in the world.''
''Everyone I see here is surrounded by beauty.''
''Everyone is philandering in name of love.''
''If I do so I am of a loose character.''
''Boys are the most intoxicating thing in the world.''
''Everyone you see is surrounded by beauty.''
''Everyone is philandering in name of love.''
''If I do so I am of a loose character.''
''It's a simple formula.''
''The fundamental of love is hollow.''
''If the thirst is satisfied..''
''..my heart stays cool.''
''Why do people make false promises by holding someone's hands?''
''Only a fool can say 'love you forever'.''
''One just needs to drink it.''
''The nectar of youth is intoxicating.''
''What difference does it make..''
''..whether you are holding Munni or Sheila in your arms?''
''Everyone is philandering in name of love.''
''If I do so I am of a loose character.''
''This discussing is popular on Facebook.''
''The fun lies in the first look.''
''Who looks at a beautiful face again and again?''
''In the frame of the heart..''
''..why should there be the same picture. ''
''You should change it every day like the calendar.''
''The thinner the waist the more fun it is.''
''It's all good for me.''
It doesn't matter if the colour of the eyes is black or blue.''
''Everyone is philandering in name of love.''
''If I do so I am of a loose character.''
''Girls are the most intoxicating thing in the world.''
''Everyone you see is surrounded by beauty.''
''Everyone is philandering in name of love.''
''If I do so I am of a loose character.''
Documents? - Ready.
Witness?
Ready, sir.
The bride? - Ready.
The groom? - He's ready as well.
Then sign here. - Okay.
Thank you.
Take this.
Here you go.
Exchange the garlands.
You are now husband and wife.
Click a photograph.
Just a second. Click it. Click it.
Congratulations.
Thank you. I was not in town.
If you wouldn't have helped her run away..
..her father would have got her married to someone else.
Yes. And I would have become someone else's wife.
Not a chance.
Here's my card.
You are a registrar here. We know.
No, no, no. This is my other card.
I'm also a divorce lawyer.
I've dissolved more marriages than I've performed.
And looking at the two of you I feel..
..that you will definitely need me in future.
I know love is blind.
But marriage makes everyone see things clearly.
Do you see things clearly?
I'm still blind.
I've already married thrice.
I'm waiting to get married for the fourth time.
What kind of a man is he? - Thank you.
Let's go. Let's go. We don't want your card.
Sir. Sir, at least take the card. Sir..
Who is he? - He was getting married to her.
Look, brother, she was being forcefully to marry you.
And that's why.. - Forget it. I was being forced to marry her.
What? - I had come to tell Khushi that I love Kiran.
But I didn't get a chance to talk.
I was hit with a stick on my head and I fell unconscious.
I won't spare you. - Brother, no..
Stop it, Gaurav. Stop it.
We should thank them. - Yes.
We wouldn't be together if he wouldn't have helped Khushi elope.
Say thanks.
Kiran. - Hi. How are you?
Hi. - Nice to meet you.
Hurry up, the two of you. Come here and get married.
I have to go and get someone divorced.
Let's go.
It's time for our flight as well. We'll make a move.
Thank you so much. - See you. Take care.
Brother Prem. - What?
Brother Prem, everyone inside..
Pathak shitting petrol.
Shitting? - Seating sofa.
Oh, seating. - Yes.
Okay. You parking bike. I'm seeing how much shitting.
He is here. He is here. He is here.
I'll set myself on fire. I'll kill myself.
This drama has been going on since last night.
Neither is he sleeping nor is he letting us sleep.
Whenever he dries a little he wets himself again with petrol.
Mr. Pathak, if you wish to set yourself on fire..
..please do so outside, in the garden.
Why are you burning our house with you? - Quiet.
Yes, exactly.
You heard that? You heard that?
After ruining my family he is talking about his house.
Daddy, why don't you dive and snatch it?
Shut up. You have done that. - Awrong thing.
Awrong thing. Yes. - Stay away. Stay away. Stay away.
I'll set myself on fire.
Brother.. - Stay away. Stay away. Stay away.
Brother, Khushi is notjust your daughter but his friend as well.
Yes. - Yes.
I'm sure she must have seen something special in Raju.
I'm sure the day you see them happy, you will forgive them.
That day will never come in my life.
And there are hardly any days left in my life.
Perhaps not even one.
Yes. He is right.
He is right, right? Then keep this aside.
I'll commit suicide. - You..
I'll commit suicide. - Who are you threatening?
I'll help you.
Does anyone have a lighter?
No, I don't have it.
This lighter.. - You started smoking? - You started smoking?
Shame on you. - Brother, I didn't..
Don't change the topic.
What were you saying?
I'll help you deep fry.
What are you doing?
Prem? - What is this?
What are you doing? What are you doing, Prem?
Prem? Prem? - Will Mr. Pathak's death affect anyone of you?
No. - No. - Will the world end?
What.. What.. What..
I will burn him down. Okay.
I won't spare you. I won't spare you. - Prem. Prem.
You'll ruin everything. - Prem.
Something has to be done about this boy.
Hello, Guru. Hello. - Come. Come, Ram.
Have a seat. Have a seat.
Look, Ram.. - Yes?
Prem has done a good deed by uniting two lovers.
Guru, he ended brother and Mr. Pathak's age old friendship.
Yes. - Prem that's the talks of his marriage even before it starts.
What is it called? - Ends. - He ends it.
Last month Guru sent a dog to your place, right?
Yes. She is very nice. - Yes.
She keeps everyone happy. - Yes.
He sent two maids for household chores. Naina and Sunaina.
They are very nice girls.
But cannot get Prem married to them. - Right. Right.
Similarly, Guru has found a bride for Prem.
Ram, listen to me. You know the Malhotras from America..
Yes. - Their daughter is perfect for Prem.
Yes. She is a Bandit Queen.
A Bandit Queen? - A Bandit Queen?
Phoolan. - Only her behavior.
She is very good at heart.
Her name is Pooja. - Wonderful!
She is the only girl who can change Prem.
Guru, then why are you doing that in this?
Why are you delaying this? - Why the delay?
She is coming to Bangkok tomorrow for her friend's wedding.
It will be great if Prem likes her.
Whether Prem likes her or not..
..only Pooja will come to our house as that.
What? - A bride. - A bride. A bride. - Yes.
Hello. - Karan, I've been trying all six numbers of yours since so long.
Tell me what happened to the wedding.
I ran away from the wedding.
But my passport is with them.
What? It'll take at least 10-15 days to make a new passport.
But what will I do in the meanwhile?
They will find me.
I'll call you later. - Hello! Hello!
Hi, Pooja. Do you need a ride?
No, thank you. Prem and his uncle are coming to fetch me.
Prem, Pooja is coming at Terminal 3..
..why are we standing at Terminal 7?
That's the game plan. - Why are you throwing it?
How will Pooja recognize us?
That's what I want. She shouldn't recognize us.
Why
What are you doing?
What is this..
This.. is a proof for my father that we went to the airport..
..but Pooja Malhotra didn't come here.
So we came here.. - Uncle, tell me one thing.
Neither you nor I have ever seen her.
Nor has anyone in the family has seen her.
Guru has sent an imported Pooja Malhotra from America..
..so that she marries me and changes me? - Correct.
Uncle, I need a very impish, roguish and talented wife.
Impish, roguish and talented?
But nowadays it's so difficult to find..
..an impish, roguish and talented wife.
All of them are married.
I am there.
But what will tell our Guru?
Let the Guru's mother go to hell.
Does he have a sister? - Yes.
Then we shall send both of them. - Okay.
Both mother and sister will go to hell.
Prem.
Who called me Prem so hatefully?
What did you think? I will wait for you at Terminal 3?
And you will click a photograph here..
,,and fool father? - Pooja.
How did you recognize us?
Not you, him.
Daddy had given his description when I was leaving America.
I scanned the entire airport.
He was the only rogue with an innocent face.
Wow. Wow. Wow. What an image you have, Prem.
I'm proud of you.
Why are you in a wedding dress?
What did you think? I'll come from America in a two-piece bikini?
It would've been better. - Just shut up.
Come on!
Let's go.
Excuse me.
Don't take advantage of the situation.
And don't you dare touch me.
Let's go.
Wow. Impish, roguish and talented.
I should have asked for something else, uncle.
What better could have you asked for?
Think about it. Ayoung and old imp at home.
And they will bet on who is more impish.
Your aunt and she will get along well.
Truly. I'll bet on your girl.
They are here.
Pooja is here. Pooja is here.
Brother, is she Pooja?
Or has he brought some other girl from her wedding?
You all must be surprised, right?
Seeing me dressed as a bride.
You see, a girl looks her best in a wedding dress.
So, I told myself, ''Pooja, don't take a chance.''
''If you want to impress everyone..''
''..then go dressed as a bride. - Very impressed.''
Impish.
Okay, tell me, how did you like our Prem?
Yes. How did you like you?
I liked all of you a lot.
Very talented.
And if all of you support me then..
..we will change him for good as well.
Talented also. - Okay. Then all of us are with you.
Come in. Come in. Come in. - Come in, dear.
She will change him for good.
She didn't bring any bags with her.
What was the need to bring any luggage?
I'm not staying in a hotel. I'm staying with my in-laws.
There is anything lacking in here?
Yes, only that like you was lacking. That..
What? - What do you call a son's that?
Daughter-in-law. - We were only lacking a daughter-in-law..
..and now your presence has changed that as well.
Your father has become that. - Mad?
Should I tell your father?
You are saying such things about my elder brother? Yes?
Tell us, when are you going for the wedding?
I just ran from a wedding.
You ran away from it?
But you were going to Phuket for your friend's wedding, right?
Yes, I was going to.
What do you mean, ''I was going to?''
If you didn't go there then how did you ran away from it?
By ran away I mean I got rid of it with great difficulty.
Why would I unnecessarily waste my time in Phuket?
That's right. Why waste time in Phuket?
If I would attend my friend's wedding..
..then how would I make arrangements for my wedding?
And I have to fulfil the responsibility Guru has given me.
She will marry you. She is wishful-serpent.
I will never let her wish come true.
Sir, Pooja's on the line.
Pooja? - Pooja?
It's for Pooja. Give it to me.
Hello. Hi. How are you?
I'm standing at the airport since the last two hours..
..and you are asking how are you?
I'm not okay, understand?
My friend. The one who is getting married.
She is very angry.
Anyway, look, I am waiting at the airport, come on.
And he didn't come to pick me up. - Didn't get the time.
I have come here from America and he didn't get the time?
If you don't believe me then talk to Prem's dad.
I? - Dad, she is calling all of you.
Tell her that you all are not free. - Yes.
Look, we cannot come. We don't have that.
Tell her that we don't have a car. - No, we have a car.
The thing that moves like this.
Pendulum. - We don't have a pendulum.
Excuse me? - Time.
No, we don't have time. Sorry.
Heard that? Now do you believe me?
If you don't have time then even I am not stupid..
..to waste my time for you over here.
I'm going to attend my friend's wedding.
And I'll go to Guru's ashram after 8-10 days.
If you finally have the time and you wish to meet me..
..then you can come there. Understand?
Okay. That's a great idea. Bye.
Come, Pooja, I'll take you to the guestroom.
Aunt, am I a guest that I'll stay in the guest room?
I'll stay in Prem's room.
In Prem's room? - Before this?
Before marriage?
Until we get married, Prem will stay in the guestroom.
Yes.
Don't worry about him. He can also sleep on a table.
Look, he is sleeping.
Ma'am, if you want to stay then stay in the guestroom..
..otherwise, I'll make you disappear in such a way..
..that even Google.com won't be able to find you.
Prem. - Daddy, my room..
Uncle, cool down.
Now I am here. I'll handle it.
Now look here, my future husband.
For now, I have just snatched your room.
After that I'll snatch your sleep and peace of mind as well.
I'll make you empty. Empty.
You.. - No abusing.
Come, aunt. Show me my room.
Go. Go. Show it to her. - I'll be right back.
Brother, she will set him straight.
Isn't she very delicate? - She is a lizard. A lizard.
I don't know where that girl is.
I'm telling the truth.
You lost her.
My men couldn't find her.
Where did she go?
She doesn't know anyone in the city.
And no one knows her.
Where can she go?
Where can she go? Where? Where?
Hit him.
I want her at any cost before Suraj Chaudhary to her.
Someone stop me.
She is one piece from head to toe.
How do I cut her into pieces?
Prem, control your mind.
I'll control my mind but..
This girl with a face that looks a mix of banana and mango..
If you scream this Rampuri dagger will take to straight to Lord Rama.
You are taking advantage of the situation.
Situation? Advantage? Again?
She will yak and force someone..
..to think about it even if he isn't in the mood.
But what will you gain by killing me?
The CEO of fools, I won't benefit from it, you will.
I'll double your value. - What?
How much is a live chicken worth? - Rs.100.
And how much is a Tandoori chicken worth? - 200.
So doesn't that double the value after death?
You will snatch my peace of mind?
You will snatch my room?
If you don't leave by tomorrow morning..
..then I swear by Baba Ramdev..
..I will kill you.
What happened? - What happened, dear?
What happened? - What happened?
What happened?
She must have had a nightmare. She must have screamed.
A lot can happen in a nightmare.
Like..
Yes, a sneeze.
I was dreaming? - Look, she is agreeing.
Come on, go back to sleep.
Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. - She was dreaming.
Let us know if you need anything. - Let's go.
Okay, goodnight. - Goodnight.
Never underestimate three things in life.
Shucks..
Me, me and me.
Now you only bloody decide whether..
..you have to come to this house in a palanquin..
..or you want to leave this house.. as a dead person.
''Oh, Lord of the whole universe.''
''Mighty Lord of the whole universe.''
''All Thy devotees' agonies..''
''All Thy devotees' sorrows..''
''Instantly Thou banish.''
''Oh, Lord of the whole universe.''
Great.
I feel I am going to have a great day in office.
After all my day began with such a nice prayer.
You have been named aptly.
We are feeling as if we are in Hardiwar. - Yes.
We have got such a nice daughter-in-law.
Dear, you are so cultured and you have such good values..
..in spite of living in America.
Bush taught Obama and Obama taught her.
So who is her mother is in America?
Obama?
Listen..
To celebrate Pooja arrival we will distribute that in the office.
That.. - Tennis ball?
No, not that. - Paperweight.
'Ladoo' (Indian sweet). Right, brother?
Yes. 'Ladoos'. We will distribute 'Ladoo'. We will distribute 'Ladoos'.
Yes, they are round as well.
The world is also round. Should we distribute that? - No, no, no.
What kind of people there are in the world, uncle.
Of different types.
They neither pray in the morning nor go to work.
Yes. - True, dear. There are such people as well.
What times have come!
There's a demon staying in a God's house.
I'll have to use my demonic mind.
Uncle. - What happened?
What happened?
- Nothing. It's a small injury.
Should I seek revenge? Here you go.
Mother Earth. Bad mummy.
Bad mummy, Mother Earth. - Sorry, uncle.
He was trying to make me fall but you fell instead.
But why was he trying to make you fall?
Anger. I said a few true things and he got angry.
He got irritated.
Why get irritated with it? She is telling the truth.
He is always either on his bike or his skates.
Otherwise he keeps building his body in the spare time.
Why are you ruining my healthy body?
Everyone is saying something or the other..
..don't you have to say something?
God sent him here to increase the burden on earth.
You are telling the truth for the first time.
We have been given a life..
..only so that he can disgrace us.
Absolutely right. - He is a big disgrace.
You have a great sense of honour, uncle.
Even a Satan will look like a God in front of him.
Great. - Wonderful.
He is.. - I think I'll have to tell aunt about your affair, uncle.
I'm not saying it from my heart. Don't take it to your heart.
My hand broke. - Be careful. Be careful. Be careful.
Take me to a hospital. - We'll have to do something about her.
She's digging a grave for you.
What happened? - I cannot move it.
I'll handle her.
Because uncle, once she is gone, life is fun.
Great, Pooja. Great. - Enough.
It is delicious. - Fantastic. - She cooks so well. - Yes.
Outstanding. Outstanding.
Yes. - And she sings so well. - Yes.
And she is also changing our spoilt brat for good. - Yes.
Look, he is here.
Son, your name is Prem (love) and not 'Hatred'. Right? - Really?
Hey, listen. Hello. - Sit.
Madam, go. Go to the airport. Come on.
Why? - Your father has sent a parcel for you.
From USA. - Yes, so why are you giving me the news?
You should have collected it for me.
He is useless.
You sing so well. You cook so well.
What would have happened if you had studied a little as well?
The officer there won't give the parcel to me without your signature.
You only will have to go there.
How will the poor girl go to airport alone? You go with her, Prem.
Am I her driver, chauffer or servant?
Brother. - Prem, you go with her.
Daddy, you are very that. - I am very boring.
But still, you will go. Go, dear. Go.
Yes, but dad didn't inform me over the phone.
Oh, fax. - What?
He has sent a fax, you dirty mind.
Why are you wasting time talking, Prem?
The parcel will go back. Come on, leave. Go.
Please go, son. - Let's go.
Let's go.
Be careful. I think he's up to something.
I have a mobile. I'll call if anything happens.
Only if he will let you call.
'I could've easily spent 10-12 days in this house..'
'..if he wouldn't have been born here.'
'She has made my family crazy about her in two days.'
'I would be dead if she would stay for 12 days.'
'He cannot stop taking advantage.'
'We take advantage of those we would gain something from.'
'I am just trying to get rid of her.'
'Airport is on the left and he is taking a right turn.'
'Is he planning to take me to the jungle and..'
'No, madam. If I do any such thing..'
'..then I'll get stuck with you forever.'
'Then I will have to marry you.'
'Then why is he taking me to a jungle?'
'Will he leave me amidst wild animals?'
'I would have if I wasn't so concerned about the poor animals.'
'I think I'll have to show her a few lions.'
How can you even think of such a thing?
What are you doing?
Where are the keys? - I threw it.
The steering wheel got locked. Why did you throw it?
Are you a woman or what?
I'm a woman. - If you are a woman..
..then you should have kept the keys here, like a woman.
Keys are not kept there. Keys are kept around the waist.
To hell with your 26'' waist.
I can see a six and a half foot grave there.
Move the steering wheel.
No, steering wheel has failed.
The steering wheel has failed. Your mind has failed.
But the brakes didn't fail, right? - No, they didn't.
Prem. - She's gone. - Prem.
Prem.
Where are you? - I am here. Down here.
She was hanging me, now God has hanged her.
Are you dead or alive?
I'm still alive, but I can die anytime.
Help me. - Okay. Take this.
Take my hand.
Give me your hand. Give me your hand. Give me your hand.
Come closer first.
No, I am thinking that it's better..
..if one person dies rather than two.
Coward. Dastard. Pansy. Chicken.
Should I come there to help you so that you can help me?
Let me ask help for myself first.
Hurry up. - Help me, God.
Give me your leg. - You are already hanging.
How else should I hang you?
I mean give me your leg.
Leg? Man and woman look good in pair.
But to touch something with ones' leg is a grave sin.
You are hanging on the branch with both your hands.
How will you save me?
Ma'am, each hand of mine has 2 times a gorilla's strength.
Depending on age and size.
By the way, I can save you with one hand.
Then Useless, use that hand.
Hold my waist and pull me.
No, no, no. Not the waist.
Then you will say that I took advantage.
What? - By the way your waist is..
Let my waist go to hell.
Hold whatever you want. Do whatever you want.
But please save me.
In that case, come to me, my suitcase.
Look madam, you are taking advantage of my disadvantage. - What?
If you come any closer, then I swear..
..I'll let go of both the hands and embrace you.
And both of us will be dead.
Please save me. Let's go. What are you doing?
Just hanging around.
Don't worry.
You women are amazing.
You cannot stick on to anything other than your age.
Sometimes you say take the advantage..
..sometimes you say don't take advantage. What nonsense is this?
All your yakking is making me go crazy.
It was the demand of the situation.
I wasn't wrong to touch you now.
I was wrong to touch you earlier.
If this is not wrong then why is that wrong?
And if that is wrong then why isn't this wrong?
Actually, you are wrong.
It is wrong to sit here and talk to you.
It's of no use. I'll lie down.
Obviously it's of no use. I'm sitting and you are lying down.
It would've benefited if either, both of us were sitting or lying down.
Look, don't say double meaning things to me.
This is a limit to illiteracy.
Where is a double meaning in it?
Look, don't turn and sleep like this. I feel something inside.
By the way, the jean fits well..
..on your waist.
My ill-fate I wish he wasn't a man.
And you weren't a woman.
Sanjana Singh.
Pooja has horns.
Prem!
'Prem. Prem. Prem.'
Isn't it a great place?
You call out once and it echoes back a number of times.
You have brought me here to hear this?
Oh, no. This is nothing.
Now I'll shout your name and see what name echoes back.
Should I?
Sanjana!
'Sanjana. Sanjana. Sanjana.'
Hear it.
'Sanjana. Sanjana. Sanjana.'
I'm saying Pooja and it is echoing back as Sanjana.
Isn't it a strange place?
Look, the valley is so deep.
Prem. - Only echoes come back from here, not people.
Tell me the truth. Who are you?
Otherwise, I'll let go of you.
I'll tell you the truth. Pull be back first.
Come on, start your story.
You already know my real name.
Sanjana Singh.
Actually, I had come from America to get married.
But the guy I was going to get married to..
..turned out to be a famous don's son.
I ran away from the wedding but they snatched my passport.
It takes at least 10-12 days to make a new passport.
I needed a place to hide as well.
Then I saw you at the airport.
You had come to pick up Pooja and no one knew Pooja.
So I thought..
You know the rest. - I know the rest.
What did you do with the real Pooja?
I hope you didn't murder her.
No. She has gone to attend her friend's wedding, in Phuket.
She will go to Guru's ashram from there.
Guru. Guru. Guru.
He is a..
Let's go.
Prem.
Hey, move aside.
''My heart broke.''
''My heart went crazy.''
I think you want me..
..to give you a lift.
You are very handsome and dashing..
..brother. - Brother?
This car won't go anywhere. It has broken-down.
Why? What happened, darling?
Darling? - The car will run. It will get repaired.
I'm a mechanic. It's my job. Hope in.
Yes. - But you didn't ask me where you should drop me.
I haven't caught you as yet, to drop you.
First let me introduce myself.
I'm Mr. Lehri.
I'm sure you know Bhappi Lehri.
There is no connection between us.
Yes, there is a connection.
He likes gold and I like to sleep.
Hello. Why are you whistling?
You've already won over me.
Are you from Pataya?
Who is he? Is he your boyfriend?
No, he is a distant friend. - A distant friend?
Just like a distant relative.
Okay. Then I have no problem..
..because I am shortsighted.
So shall we leave, Mr. Weak?
Hello.
I keep a person like you as my driver.
Really? - Yes. - Then give me the keys. Come on.
The key is in its place. I got a driver.
Come on, darling. Come behind.
Come on. Come on. Watch your feet.
You aren't in the mood to come behind?
Not a problem. We'll talk from here.
Great. It's such a young and beautiful weather.
When I look at you I remember a romantic phrase.
Tell me.
Mingle in jungle.
I, too, remember a phrase when I see you.
A.K. Hangal in the jungle.
You know liquor and beauty have a deep connection?
I'm often intoxicated and the evening passes away.
There will be a day when the evening will be intoxicated..
..and you will pass away.
Hello. I'm not here to get insulted.
Where do you usually go to get insulted?
Where will I go? I stay at home. I'm married.
You give a lift to a single girl even when you are married?
Who doesn't?
I only give, you take it as well, forcefully.
Watch out!
What is he doing up there?
Plucking fruits.
He plucked a lot of fruits.
Oh no! - What have you done?
I didn't do it. You did it.
Hard work paid off, didn't it?
You were driving very passionately.
Whose car is this? - This is my car.
It's not a car. It is my wife. I love it.
If your wife has an affair with someone..
..then who will work hard on her?
Her lover, who else?
Who will enjoy it? - My wife, who else?
Who will get punished? - Me, who else?
So just imagine.
She is your wife.
Who was working hard on her? - You.
Who was enjoying it? - She was.
Who will get punished?
Me, who else?
Because it was my car.
Don't cry, my son. Be strong.
The Lord works in mysterious ways, my son.
Have this fruit.
You are a Father?
Father. Father, I had bad thoughts about her.
Father, I'm a sinner.
I've committed a grave sin, Father.
I am a sinner.
Hey! Stop the car. There's the girl.
What have I done! - Prem, let's go. They are his men.
Come. - Come on. Come on. Fast.
Or she'll escape. - I want to confess.
Where is that girl? - Which girl?
The one who was standing here with you. Your sister.
She.. Sister? I think she ran away with brother-in-law.
Listen, have you seen our boss?
Who is your boss? - Tall, board, huge man.
Okay, this..
What are you asking?
I'm selling these fruits here. The fruits of hard work.
These fruits are very tasty. Just taste them.
No. I didn't. My car hit him.
Get him. - My car hit him.
Mr. Chaudhary, your son has gone into coma..
..because of excess blood loss.
I don't know when he will regain consciousness.
Quickly resuscitate him, Doctor..
..otherwise, I will sent you into coma.
Send me as well, sir.
To my home, sir.
Look, sir, it was my car but your son was hit by that boy.
I don't even now how to drive a car.
I swear on him.
Let him go.
Thank you, sir. Thank you. So sweet. Yes.
Sir, I am leaving but before leaving..
..I would like to give you a small warning.
Sir, that boy is very smart.
He is fast, in driving cars and using his brain as well.
If he will come before you he will do such actions that..
..you will forget to give reactions.
Has anyone seen that boy?
I've only seen him from the left side.
And I've only seen him from the right side.
Sir, what is this left and right. I've seen him from centre.
Will you be able to recognize him?
You are talking about recognizing?
Actually, I was born when I was small.
My mother was a woman.
And the person who murdered my father..
..underwent plastic surgery thrice.
Yet I recognized him.
Because he used to come to our shop to buy the plastic.
From now onwards, this plastic will always be with us.
Take him away. - No. This is wrong.
Shut up. - This is wrong.
Find that boy and Sanjana.
Wherever they are hiding find them.
What? - What kind of childishness is this, Pooja?
Is this a way to behave?
Does anyone hold and push anyone like this?
How was that? - What did you do?
Like this.. Like this.. What did you do? - What did I do?
You held her like this and pushed her like this.
The push she got had that.
The push she got had minimal effect? - Yes. Yes.
Okay. Okay. Take your position. - From there.
Welcome. Welcome. Come, come, one by one. - Come on. Come on.
Talk to your darling nephew. - Yes.
From the time they have returned from the jungle..
..there is a lot of fun happening around.
''It is fun. It is fun. It is fun.''
Excuse me. Just friends. - Play the wedding tune.
Just friends.
Prem!
Prem, your method was wrong but your intentions were good.
Now I have no complaints against you. - Mr. Pathak.
No. No. No.
My Khushi is so happy with Raju that I forgot all my sorrows.
Great. Great. Great. - That's great.
You know I'm going to London.
Raju sent the tickets. - Of economic class?
Yes. - Yes.
How do you know that? - Because I gave Raju the idea.
I told him not to buy first class tickets as you are such a miser..
..that you will be happy even with economic class ticket.
What happened? - It got wet. - What?
What is this, Daddy? You always say double meaning things.
There is no double meaning in it. The thing which we talk. With which..
Mobile. Mobile. Mobile. - Mobile?
My purse. - My money.
My purse.
Your underwear. Let's get out of this.
Today, I got that and after a long time that happened.
You got wet and fell in love?
No, I caught cold.
Today, the Sunday truly feels like a Sunday.
A Sunday will always be a Sunday. - Yes.
We never go in the swimming pool together even if we want to, right?
Really. - Thank you, Pooja. - You're welcome.
Welcome. Thank you. I am Ready.
But there is a No Entry here.
Someone stop me.
Sir.
Ajunior priest has come from Guru's place.
He is here? - Yes.
Make him comfortable.. - Yes.
The junior priest is here. I'll go meet him and welcome him.
My wallet.. From the drawer..
That one. Yes. And the wallet..
Priest, why are you here? I mean what brings you here?
I'll tell that later, but Guru is very angry with you.
Why? - Why didn't you go to pick up Pooja from the airport?
I had gone there..
..but I got a little late. She left to attend the wedding.
Yes, she will be going to the ashram directly from the wedding.
Be there on time to pick her up. - As you say.
Where is everyone else? - They are with Pooja..
But Pooja is.. - Not this one, the Pooja which was sent last month.
We sent a dog last month.. - Don't call her a dog.
The family members have named her Pooja.
They have named her Pooja? A dog.. - Again you are calling her a dog.
Doggie, dog, puppy, pup, Raju, Tommy.
Nothing. Call her Pooja. Otherwise with a broom..
They are so madly in love with her that nowadays we eat dog food..
Dog.. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.
Pooja's food. Pedigree and White Kennel.
So what should I call her? Pooja?
Don't call her that if you want to lose your loincloth..
..and your honour.
Hello, Priest.
They are here to serve you.
Hello. Hello.
- Hello. Hello.
Bless you. Bless you.
Guru had kept a 'Satyanarayan' ritual.. - Very good.
He has sent the offering of that.
Sanjana.. As soon as they call for Pooja you come with the dog.
Tell me, where is Pooja.
She is here. Pooja.
Now what do I tell you, Priest.
We have got very attached to Pooja in such a short span.
She is so sweet that as soon as she came, Prem..
She won everyone's heart.
'Oh God, what magic has this dog done in one month?'
Our Pooja is as decent as she is beautiful.
'A decent dog?'
'Have they lost their mind?'
She is now our family member.
Does she bite?
What kind of a joke is that?
Is she a suckling that she will bite?
She is of marriageable age.
It's a different thing if she starts biting after marriage.
Whether she bites, scratches or does anything else..
..we have decided that she'll be the daughter-in-law of our family.
'They will make a dog their daughter-in-law?'
'A dog will be perfect for you, son.'
'You deserve this.'
What are you thinking about?
That is happening with Guru's permission.
'Dandiya', 'Garba' (Gujarati dance forms).
No, no, no. That.. That.. That..
Yes. The alliance. - The alliance. The alliance.
'I think they have gone absolutely crazy.'
'They didn't go to pick up the Pooja Guru had sent..'
'..from the airport.'
'They have named their dog Pooja..'
'..and they are getting him married to her.'
'I'll also go crazy if I stay here any longer.'
I'll make a move.
Have lunch before you leave. - Yes.
Pooja's favourite dishes have been made today.
'Oh, God. They are feeding dog food to a priest?'
Look, I.. You can have it. I'm fasting today.
I'll make a move. - Bye. - Okay, Priest. - Okay, Priest.
Who is this girl?
You don't recognize her?
You are strange. She is our maid.
You had brought her here from the ashram.
'Look at that. These lunatics think I am crazy.'
'I hope I really don't go crazy.'
Excuse me. I'll make a move.
Okay. - Okay.
''Baby, I can see the sun rising in your eyes.''
''Baby, every time I think of you, you make me smile.''
''Baby, I'll be your every dream and you should know..''
''Baby, I'll never ever want to let you go.''
''Love is the dawn of the slumber of life.''
''Love is a very beautiful punishment.''
''I have fallen in love.''
''My prayers have been answered.''
''Love is the dawn of the slumber of life.''
''Love is a very beautiful punishment.''
''I have fallen in love.''
''My prayers have been answered.''
''Come, let's go somewhere.''
''Let's fly and go somewhere.''
''Love is our sky.''
''It is as open as our desires.''
''An untouched feeling touched me.''
''Like there is intoxication in the sky.''
''I'm in love.''
''I have fallen in love.''
''My prayers have been answered.''
''I have fallen in love.''
''My prayers have been answered.''
''My path tells this to me.''
''Why don't you stray a little?''
''Now this journey is unique.''
''Please ask my destination..''
''..to look out for my path from the shore.''
''If you are with me..''
''..this journey is like a dream to me.''
''My heart has been a bit troublesome.''
''It has given me some beautiful problems.''
''I have fallen in love.''
''My prayers have been answered.''
''Baby, I can see the sun rising in your eyes.''
''Baby, every time I think of you, you make me smile.''
''Baby, I'll never ever want to let you go.''
''Never even in my dreams had I ever thought..''
''..that the God of desires would give me so much.''
''I kept walking in a carefree manner.''
''I kept walking on my path.''
''I didn't know that my heart will stop for you.''
''I'm in love.''
''I have fallen in love.''
''My prayers have been answered.''
''I have fallen in love.''
''My prayers have been answered.''
''I have fallen in love.''
''My prayers have been answered.''
''Baby.''
Maids. - Yes, brother.
Where is everybody gone?
Brother.. Gone ashram. Meeting Guru.
And Pooja? - Gone.. with them too.
Why, brother? Heart beating fasting?
Brother, where are you running?
Come on, come on. - Come.
This is Guru's that. What is it called.. As..
Ashram.
We've come here to fix a wedding date for your marriage with Prem.
Yes.
Let's go.
You go ahead. We'll come. - Okay.
Pooja, it is believed that all wishes..
..come true if one bathes in this sacred pond.
Come.
Which Pooja are you talking about, Ram?
Pooja has not returned from her friend's wedding.
Then who is the one who has been staying..
..in our house as Pooja since the past few days.
Who is the scoundrel you ran away with?
Kill his entire family.
How is that possible!
You want me, right?
I'm ready to come with you.
Let's go.
Come on.
Leave me.
Brother-in-law.
Sanjana is not here.
I knew that you would surely come.
And I, too, knew that you would say..
..''I knew that you would surely come.''
Why should I come, huh? Am I your boyfriend?
I love you? - Saw? You are agreeing to it.
No. Really? He's your uncle?
Yes.
Prem, how would I tell you that..
..these goons, mafias are my maternal uncles?
Great.
Your family members are like Charles Shobraj and Ranja Billa?
I love these mafia people.
Stop joking, Prem.
You don't know how much my uncles hate each other
My mother's last wish was..
..that I get both my uncles' blessings at my wedding.
So that their enmity ends forever..
..and they become good human beings like they were, earlier.
But? - The greed of attaining my property worth 200 crores..
..increased their enmity.
Each one of them wants me to marry his brother-in-law.
200 crores?
I can draw a cheque without deducting the TDS..
..and keep your uncles in my pocket.
But my dear, until there are obstacles in a love story..
..it is not called a love story.
What stories will we tell our children?
Look, a boyfriend gets scared of his girlfriend.
A girlfriend gets scared of a cockroach.
A cockroach gets scared of a mouse.
A mouse gets scared of a cat.
A cat gets scared of a dog.
And a dog gets scared of a man.
- And a man is scared of a woman. - What?
Just like a villain.. gets scared of the hero.
Prem, let's go. My uncle is here.
What now?
They will.. - Don't worry, dear.
Today, I'll predict your future.
You will get married to an innocent looking rogue.
That's me.
Now can I take some advantage?
By the way, the fitting of the Indian dress is very good.
''Ready.. I am ready for you. Are you ready for me?''
''Are you ready for me? Are you ready for me?''
''Are you ready for me? I am ready for you.''
Uncle, Yuvraj was forcefully..
I ran away from there.
Sit in the car.
They are drying out.
This boy is making me that. That..
Irritate? - No, not irritate. That.. This.. This..
Emotional? - Emotional is like this. This.. - So?
He is making me this. This. This..
Crazy. - Crazy. - Crazy.
He is making crazy. Crazy. Crazy.
He lied to me. That girl is not this but that.
What.. - Not Sanjana, Pooja.
Pooja. Yes. Yes.
What you are thinking of doing is not so easy.
They are dangerous. - Yes.
They are dons.
I would've said the same had I been in your place.
But.. what would've you done had you been in my place?
Why don't you make him understand?
What should I tell him?
All I know is that Sanjana is a very nice girl.
And right now, she must be in trouble.
She must be in big trouble.
That's true, sister-in-law.
But there is no solution to this problem.
I have such a solution that I'll make the lives of both the dons, hell.
They have a common CA, who has done BA.
And his name.. What was his name?
Sounds like bully. - Idli (a south Indian snack)?
Mulli (Raddish)?
Pulley. - Talli (drunk)?
No, close. Close.
Khuli (open)? Khali?
Khali.
Balli.
Balidaan Bhardwaj.
Sakku, how many times will you call me?
I feel that you call me even when you dial a wrong number.
What do I do?
You have left the house with so much cash.
I'm feeling scared.
This isn't the first time I'm out with so much cash.
I do transactions worth millions, day and night.
All 500 and 1000 denomination bills..
..across the world knows Balidaan Bhardwaj.
Then? - That's fine.
But what if a thief stabs you and robs you?
Sakku, are you concerned about me..
..or are you trying to kill me?
Hang up, Sakku.
I want two demands drafts made.
One of30 lakhs and the other of20 lakhs.
Take this.
My bag?
My bag! Where did my bag go?
Where is my bag? There was 50 lakhs in the bag.
Where did the bag go?
My bag. My bag got stolen.
Have you seen a thief here? - No.
You blind man, you didn't see the thief?.
You didn't even see such a big bag?
I didn't see it. I'm not the owner of it.
You.. Have you seen your face?
It's so black that if shown on National Television..
..it will ward off evil from the entire country.
Sakku, what you said came true. Sakku.
What happened?
Amar Chaudhary and Suraj Chaudhary's 50 lakhs got stolen.
What?
Don't do this. Pack the bags.
It's time to leave the city. Come on. - Yes.
They are here. Tell them I am not here.
I'll go and hide myself.
Mr. Bhardwaj. Mr. Bhardwaj.
He has not only left this house but this world as well.
A trunk ran over him. - Oh, no.
He got crushed.
Do you have anyone to look after you in this cruel world?
No.
By the way, I had brought this bag for him.
What will I do of this briefcase when he is no more?
Don't worry. I'll take care of both his belongings.
Okay? Let's meet after his final rites.
Bring it here.
Where are you going?
You are alive, sir? - Yes, I'm alive.
It's her hobby. She kills her husband over everything.
Start wearing a wedding chain from tomorrow.
People get mistaken.
She is mine.
And.. this bag is also mine.
There are only 50 lakhs in it, right, sir?
Yes. Yes. Yes. There are only 50 lakhs..
Just a minute.
How did you come to know that there are 50 lakhs in it?
Just be looking at the bundle of the notes..
..I can predict how many notes it contains.
How? - I learnt this art from my master. Mr. B. B., sir.
Bishan Singh Bedi? - No, sir.
Then?
Balibhrambhat. - No, no, sir.
Bichun Bhutia. Goal.
No way, sir. The one who has written this book.
Mr. Balidaan Bhardwaj.
Be careful, sir.
I've written a book?
When did I write this book?
Such a fat book?
You? - Yes.
Look at this. The Balidaan in front of Bhardwaj is me.
That's me.
This is a sign of a genius.
You wrote a book and you don't even remember.
Sir, this book is a missile and you are an example..
..for a newcomer like me.
I have come to this city to be your assistant, sir.
I see. - I want to learn the ropes of this job with you.
I don't want any money either. - Then my job is done.
I mean your job is done. - Thank you, sir.
I have only two clients.
Amar Chaudhary and Suraj Chaudhary.
Sir, they are mafias.
One is a mongoose.
And the other one is a snake.
If they get together then they are killer sharks.
But both of them are illiterates.
How many times during a year do you think..
..people like Chaudhary must be paying their taxes?
Sir, they must not even be paying the taxi fare. Sir..
I make them pay tax every month.
Every month?
Again and again. - Again and again.
12 times. - 12 times.
Yes.
What do I do? It is dirty but it is my business.
It is your business.
This is the only way to teach a lesson to those goons.
Sir, your name is Balidaan but you are making your clients sacrifice.
Now that you have joined me..
..everyone will be sacrificed.. with Prem (love).
Come with us. Come with us. - Why are you hitting me?
Hit him.
Stop. Stop. Don't hit me.
Stop. Stop. I am your teacher, Amar Chaudhary.
Teacher? You are a cheater, you scoundrel.
You give me a zero in the exams.
You gave the wrong answer.
What was the question?
Who is the president of India? - Mrs. Prathiba Patil.
You had said that it was Abdul Kallam.
The president got changed.
It is my fault that the president got changed?
What do I have to do with when and where Alexander fought Porus?
Do I have to go there and dig their graves?
Hit him. Hit him. Hit him.
Well done. You are doing well, Amar Chaudhary.
Saw that? That's why I named him after me.
Amar Chaudhary.
Hey, Amar Chaudhary!
You stinky insect of a dirty sewer?
Mother, you go inside. - Stop barking, you dog.
And let him go. Otherwise I'll poison your food and feed you.
Got it?
Hey, go. Take him back with dignity. Go.
Yes. - Go.
Let's go, sir.
Grandpa, you are being abused under his pretext.
No, no. It's not so.
You are like a father to my daughter-in-law.
You are God.
A born leech. - What?
He is. This Amar Chaudhary.
It's time for school. Don't you have to go?
Father, should I get something for you?
Yes, daughter-in-law. Get some tea for me.
Okay. - Without sugar.
And without poison.
Have some sweets, Mr. Chaudhary.
I got the land for your liquor factory cleared.
And it hardly cost you anything.
Only 50 lakhs.
Balli. - Yes.
Don't you know you cannot bring strangers in here?
Who is he? - He's my nephew.
Nephew? - Yes, look. We look similar, don't we?
You mean when I am of your age I will look like you?
Forget about the face, Mr. Chaudhary.
Talk about brains.
He is from America.
He will show your income so less..
..that you won't need to pay tax. - Really?
You know the billionaire in America? K.K. Modi.
He used to handle his account.
K. K. Modi? - K. K. Modi?
Forget it. Forget K. K. Modi.
Now that you are here you work for Mr. Chaudhary.
Handle his account.
Hire you nephew. - Nephew!
Grandpa, it sounds like your business. Ganja.
Balli. - Yes?
You didn't teach your nephew how to salute?
Salute me.
What to get thrashed?
What did you say? - No. I saw my horoscope in the morning.
Yes. - In it it's written that if I salute..
..anyone younger than me today..
..then he will get thrashed all day long.
But still if you want.. - No, no. Let it be.
But I have read his horoscope.
Balli. Come on. - Let it be, today. My nephew is with me. So..
Balli.
Yes.
Now my hands feel warmer.
The apple of my eye.
My brave boy. - Wild hippo, Amar Chaudhary.
Write 'Welcome' on your face.
You will look like a rotten doormat.
Anyway, your ponytail looks like a dead dog's tail.
Look at your grandpa. It suits him so well.
Take this. Stupid. Go to school.
Yes, grandpa. This is the first time mother has said the right thing.
The girls in my class tease me.
They said it looks like theirs.
With your permission can I chop it off?.
Amar Chaudhary, you can have your neck cut but not your ponytail.
This is a warning, not advice.
We are samurais. This is the identity of our family.
Your I.D. proof.
It is a voter's card, pan card. Your blood group.
A proof that you are his grandson and he is your grandpa.
Where did this boring old man come from?
Great grandpa.
I saw you.
Today my day will go well.
Concentrate on your studies.
Kids of your age have gone places.
People of your age as well..
..have gone places.
''Happy days are over.''
''Now I'm surrounded with sadness.''
What is this, Mr. Lehri?
What are you doing?
I'm having black coffee with Obama in the White House.
Can't you see?
I hit the brakes to give you a lift.
Now my shirt has turned into a mop.
All this happened because of me, right?
I'm feeling very guilty.
I love you too.
Now it is my duty to get you out of here.
I also want to leave.
Because if my children grow up they won't recognize me.
And my wife is so nave that the poor thing..
..might once again run away with someone.
No such thing will happen because I have a mind-blowing idea.
This is the boy with whom Sanjana ran away, sir.
He doesn't look like he is from our city.
I'll find him even if he is hiding underground.
Are you telling the truth?
Sir, if I am lying he should die immediately.
No, I take his oath and say that henceforth..
..that that boy was not him but someone else.
Sir. - What happened?
Sir, someone has come to meet you.
Balli, you got the land cleared for Amar for his liquor factory?
I just got the land cleared for him.
But for you along with the land I also got..
..the license for the liquor factory cleared.
Lehri, go. You are free to go.
Mr. Chaudhary, I am leaving but before leaving..
..I would like to give you a warning.
Sir, this boy is very smart.
Only I know how he traps people.
You won't be able to anything to him..
..even if he comes and stands before you.
You do one thing.
You keep cleaning cars here till Sanjana's marriage.
Sir, what are you saying?
Sir, this is a crime. It's a sin.
Mr. Chaudhary, you cannot do this.
Mr. Chaudhary can do anything.
He is Justice Chaudhary.
He provides justice to good people.
And he clears out the bad people.
Pick him and throw him out.
Balli, who is this boy?
He is a con. C-O-N. Con.
He joined hands with that girl and fooled me.
Which animal have I left out? - You dog, clean the car.
Mr. Chaudhary, isn't the boy useful?
Once I start working, there will be no income and no tax.
No income tax.
But Balli, how is this possible?
This boy will work for Amar as well as us.
He has a habit..
..of doing two things together.
You know K.K. Modi in America?
He used to also handle his younger brother S.K. Modi's account.
But what if he turns out to be bad?
Then you can behead my uncle.
Behead me? - Saw? He agrees to it.
The thumb impression on the file. Take it.
Just a minute.
Uncle, I was casually checking your accounts.
There are a lot of discrepancies.
What? - There must be a slight difference.
21. - 21.. Balli.
There is a difference of Rs.21.
Rs.21, dear? It's hardly a difference.
Just a minute, uncle.
You are his assistant, right? - Yes, ma'am.
Come on, show me the accounts.
Uncle, I'll go and check the accounts properly.
Yes, yes. Okay, dear.
Hey..
Persuade her. - Consider it done.
Balli, you saw how my niece's education is benefiting me?
Prem, this is not the right situation to take advantage.
Really? Then promise me that you will meet me tonight.
And you will let me take all the advantages. - Prem.
You..
You okay? - Yes. I was justjoking.
Balli, why do you look as if you've seen a ghost?
Our future daughter-in-law is checking everything, right?
Yes. In detail. Come with me. Come with me.
Let them work.
Saw that? My future wife is no ordinary girl.
Yes, I just came to know.
She has taken after me deceased sister.
So, your sister was also like her?
Then the entire family..
What happened?
He is getting scared. - He fears he might get caught.
Sanjana..
Sanjana is not my daughter.
She is more than a daughter to me, Prem.
Her happiness means everything to me.
But.. But you don't know her uncles.